Quote Madness!!

Long time no post. Updates:
-surgery #4 last week (I was the anesthetist), success.
-Bday silver party, success (pics to be posted eventually).
-Professors, out of control (see below).

I'm feeling pretty sorry for myself because I have bilateral vestibular disease. -neuro

When you give drugs, they have effects. Side effects? Bull s***. -neuro

I think it would have been fun to be a flying dinosaur. -Kristin
I think it would be great to be a flying anything. -me
Well, I think it'd be great to be a noodle. -Lizzy

Nobody cares about dinosaurs. They all died. -Kristin

This dog thought that when you touched it, death was the sequela. -Derm

You'll see 5 lambs following a rattlesnake. They're not all going to come back. -sheep herd health

No winking! There should be no winking during the procedure. There should be no winking and there should be no listening. -large animal anesthesia

Which of the following accurately depicts the events that we call maternal recognition of pregnancy in the cow?
b. At day 19, during a cow’s sleep, the Cow Fairy whispers in her ear that a most happy event is to occur, and the subliminal excitement causes her to forget to lyse her CL.

You probably go to bed every night thinking about the importance of colostrum. -FAM

I am glad you are reading English. After 15 minutes my pronunciation is going down and down. -FA repro

Did I fail to notice the 6 L of blood on the floor? -LA anesthesia

Colonel Sanders would have had marketing problems if his product was "fuzzy baby chicks." - sheep herd health

Oh Dear

"Tilters and Rollers: Understanding Canine Vestibular Diseases"
-heading for neuro lecture

Pre-Thanksgiving Treat

Some stallions could care less. They'll breed anything with four legs. -equine repro

The cartilage is gone, like a balding head. -orthopedics

That's what's nice about neuro patients; half of them can't walk so they can't run away from you. If the other half gets away, they'll circle back. -Neuro

Dribbling of feces. -Small animal med

Wow, that's a remarkable looking butt. I will not take your temp today. I will respect your butt. -small animal med

Factor III is a bad boy, if you will. -eq med

Wow, I see lots of bacteria. Well, woop-dee-doo, that's s*** for you. -small animal med

German Shepherds love perianal fistulas. -small animal med

Profs say the darndest things...

This is the Bart Simpson version of the citric acid cycle, which is just fine by me.

Don't believe anything owners ever tell you. -food animal medicine

Embarrassing case examples. Hmmm, I have a lot of these. -food animal medicine

Fun with involuntary movement disorders. -heading in neuro lecture notes

Happy cows

"The cows are eating all the M&Ms out of the trail mix!" -food animal medicine

For reals?

So I voted today, like a lot of other Americans...and it didn't feel very official. I arrived at my polling place and picked up my ballot, which was handed to me in a "secrecy folder," otherwise known as a 15 cent manila folder. It actually had a "secrecy folder" sticker on the front. Right. Next, I was given a black scented marker to fill out my ballot. That's right, the nasty licorice-scented marker no one wanted to use in 3rd grade ("So that's where they all went!" I exclaimed internally). I walked up to my polling booth (no curtain, just a metal, freestanding structure), filled in my selections, returned the ballot to the "secrecy folder," and headed over to the poll volunteers. They stuck the secrecy folder halfway into the ballot box and shook my now-unpleasantly-scented ballot into it, then handed me a souvenir ballot and an "I Voted" sticker. Question: what would have happened if my ballot had fallen out of the "secrecy folder" while it was being shaken into the ballot box?
On my way back to school, I considered stopping by Ben and Jerry's for a free scoop (if you prove you voted, you get a free scoop of ice cream), but alas, no free scoops until after the polls close...unfortunately I had lab and am now at work, so no ice cream for me. Starbucks is also offering free coffee but since I don't drink it, I guess I'm out of luck.
Are the freebies supposed to be incentives for people to vote? Honestly, I don't know if I want someone making decisions about the future of this country if their primary motivation to vote was to get a free snack. Come on. I'm probably the most politically apathetic person I know, and even I care enough to get to the polls without needing the promise of a sugar high.
I could buy the argument that B&Js is just being philanthropic and meeting the needs of hungry voters (my blood glucose was definitely low after my 4 minute voting adventure), but I'm not so sure about the 'Bucks. Oh well. For those of you who enjoyed a free cup of coffee or ice cream cone, well done! As a starving student I have to commend you for taking advantage of corporate America.

And now, back to our regularly scheduled programming. Ridiculous quotes and Halloween pics to be posted soon-ish.

Ridiculous

I won't get to play tonsil hockey anymore. (pause) Because I won't have tonsils. -Kristin