AAAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!

You can't do this to horses or you'll get an explosion. -equine surgery

They bring you these horses, and they have like two teeth. And one of those is loose. "But he loves his hay!" Yeah, hunger is a good motivator -equine surgery

These are named after the German dude who found them in 1893. -Food animal med

Pigs like to forage around. They don't realize they can get foxtails stuck in their noses. -Food animal med

When Dr. L moves his head to the right, it means my accent is getting really bad. However, when he moves his head to the left it's really bad. It means he doesn't believe anything I am saying. -fa repro

CALL THE FEDERALES!! -fa repro

You don't go to the grocery store and buy a nice piece of lung. But we export it! -beef herd health

Half of those animals are just losers. -FAM

You increase the fiber, just like in humans. You have to eat oatmeal. And salad. And fiber. -endocrine

In general, they need to be able to walk to find the females in heat. -fa repro

Bulls are not pets. They are killers. If they can get you to play they will smash you and kill you. -fa repro

Isn't that funny, that an animal is allergic to a product produced in it's own body. -fam

Hello, I have a photosensitizing problem. -eq med

It's amazing that these cows are alive. Until they drop over dead I guess. -herd health

So you still won't know where your SPAM came from. You probably don't want to know anyways. -herd health

It hurts my back. I don't want to. I look like a Christmas tree. -eq med prof's response to being asked to use a wireless microphone

In people, you only need 60% MAC of a 40 year old when you're 80. So, if you're 80 years old, you're walking around 40% anesthetized. -LA anesthesia